Getting over it
Why is it that when you're told not to do something, you want to do it even more? (I could answer that, but I mean it rhetorically.)
I'm just back from the dentist's. Today was the last 'sitting' of the root canal treatment I was getting. I've been told not to eat for another hour and a half, at least. Obviously, I'm starving. Stupid brain.
*****
3 months ago -
"When was the last time you had your teeth checked?," Aai asked casually.
"Some time last year, I think? Or before that even. When I got them cleaned," said I, not-so-casually.
"We will go this week. Majha daat dukhtoy," came the reply.
Inner voice yelled NOW WOT GARGI.
"..." was all I managed. Which was nothing. But it's justified.
I am a walking-talking dental disaster. I mean it literally. I have bunny teeth, and canines that stick out when I smile (not even grin), and don't even get me started on my lower jaw. That they look pretty okay is a different matter. Dental disaster all the same. Won't be surprised to know I've had six cavities filled, will you? I was also going to get braces. Ugh, those nasty things. It's an embarrassing story, details of which I don't intend to disclose here. Let's just say I bailed. Obviously I bailed, otherwise I'd have nice-looking teeth by now, duh.
So that is my history with the dentist. Just getting you acquainted, not trying to scare you away. Really.
After the braces fiasco, I had almost promised myself never to visit him again. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. Aai used to say, "the dentist is an unavoidable part of one's life". However badly I wish it wasn't true, it is.
I did not go to the dentist with her.
*****
It was more than a month back that the pain in my tooth became unbearable and I realised that a small part of my tooth was missing. And then it was freak out time. For a long time.
I'm usually a practical person. React to a situation after you've acted on it - that's how it is. Normally. But with this, sigh. I spent a week pondering over the possible outcomes. Then after half a week I told my mother that I had tooth pain. Then half a week later I got an appointment. I made my grandmother call the clinic and do it because I couldn't stop shaking from the idea of a visit to the dentist again. It was terrible. More terrible, or rather extremely stupid, was that I looked up the root canal treatment procedure on Google after I was told I needed one.
Remember, people, never look something up on the Internet. Something that scares you already. Ever, ever.
*****
Half an hour more and I can eat. Wohoo!
You might think why I'm making such a big deal out of a stupid dental treatment. But it was much more than that.
I refused getting braces 4 years back because the thought of syringes inside my mouth terrified me. Or so I thought. Well, that, and the pain I would have to go through for a couple of years was way more than what I was getting in return - good-looking teeth. Believe it or not - nobody gives a damn about your teeth. They'll probably notice them if they're really good or really bad; that is all.
On my way to the dentist, the day of the first 'sitting', I thought and thought about exactly why I was scared. I was scared to the point where I didn't have an appetite, I could hear my heart beat, and I couldn't talk because my throat went dry no matter how much water I drank. That kind of anxiety is bad. Especially when you don't know what's causing it!
I went over what he was going to do. He was going to numb that part of my mouth, extract the infected nerve, put in a temporary filling. And I realised I wasn't really scared of the numbing injection. I've had my ears pierced thrice, just how bad can an injection get?
It was the anticipation of the pain from the extraction (of the infected nerve). And based on what? A what-if. "What if the anesthesia didn't work?" That what-if.
Really now, if you're going to let the man/woman put his hand inside your mouth and do god-knows-what to your tooth, you can trust him with a stupid numbing injection, the logical part of me chided.
That did it. My irrationality and stupidity and idiocy were lying there in front of me, mocking me, laughing at me.
And just like that, fear was gone.
All this may sound very heroic, but it's not. It's as human as you can imagine.
The thing with fear is, it needs to be stared at and questioned. It may take all your might to do so. But if you manage that, - just that, nothing more - fear will shy away from so much as even glancing up at you.
And that feeling, that feeling is priceless.
The dentist might still be my Boggart, but I can at least say "Riddikulus!" now!
I'm just back from the dentist's. Today was the last 'sitting' of the root canal treatment I was getting. I've been told not to eat for another hour and a half, at least. Obviously, I'm starving. Stupid brain.
*****
3 months ago -
"When was the last time you had your teeth checked?," Aai asked casually.
"Some time last year, I think? Or before that even. When I got them cleaned," said I, not-so-casually.
"We will go this week. Majha daat dukhtoy," came the reply.
Inner voice yelled NOW WOT GARGI.
"..." was all I managed. Which was nothing. But it's justified.
I am a walking-talking dental disaster. I mean it literally. I have bunny teeth, and canines that stick out when I smile (not even grin), and don't even get me started on my lower jaw. That they look pretty okay is a different matter. Dental disaster all the same. Won't be surprised to know I've had six cavities filled, will you? I was also going to get braces. Ugh, those nasty things. It's an embarrassing story, details of which I don't intend to disclose here. Let's just say I bailed. Obviously I bailed, otherwise I'd have nice-looking teeth by now, duh.
So that is my history with the dentist. Just getting you acquainted, not trying to scare you away. Really.
After the braces fiasco, I had almost promised myself never to visit him again. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. Aai used to say, "the dentist is an unavoidable part of one's life". However badly I wish it wasn't true, it is.
I did not go to the dentist with her.
*****
It was more than a month back that the pain in my tooth became unbearable and I realised that a small part of my tooth was missing. And then it was freak out time. For a long time.
I'm usually a practical person. React to a situation after you've acted on it - that's how it is. Normally. But with this, sigh. I spent a week pondering over the possible outcomes. Then after half a week I told my mother that I had tooth pain. Then half a week later I got an appointment. I made my grandmother call the clinic and do it because I couldn't stop shaking from the idea of a visit to the dentist again. It was terrible. More terrible, or rather extremely stupid, was that I looked up the root canal treatment procedure on Google after I was told I needed one.
Remember, people, never look something up on the Internet. Something that scares you already. Ever, ever.
*****
Half an hour more and I can eat. Wohoo!
You might think why I'm making such a big deal out of a stupid dental treatment. But it was much more than that.
I refused getting braces 4 years back because the thought of syringes inside my mouth terrified me. Or so I thought. Well, that, and the pain I would have to go through for a couple of years was way more than what I was getting in return - good-looking teeth. Believe it or not - nobody gives a damn about your teeth. They'll probably notice them if they're really good or really bad; that is all.
On my way to the dentist, the day of the first 'sitting', I thought and thought about exactly why I was scared. I was scared to the point where I didn't have an appetite, I could hear my heart beat, and I couldn't talk because my throat went dry no matter how much water I drank. That kind of anxiety is bad. Especially when you don't know what's causing it!
I went over what he was going to do. He was going to numb that part of my mouth, extract the infected nerve, put in a temporary filling. And I realised I wasn't really scared of the numbing injection. I've had my ears pierced thrice, just how bad can an injection get?
It was the anticipation of the pain from the extraction (of the infected nerve). And based on what? A what-if. "What if the anesthesia didn't work?" That what-if.
Really now, if you're going to let the man/woman put his hand inside your mouth and do god-knows-what to your tooth, you can trust him with a stupid numbing injection, the logical part of me chided.
That did it. My irrationality and stupidity and idiocy were lying there in front of me, mocking me, laughing at me.
And just like that, fear was gone.
All this may sound very heroic, but it's not. It's as human as you can imagine.
The thing with fear is, it needs to be stared at and questioned. It may take all your might to do so. But if you manage that, - just that, nothing more - fear will shy away from so much as even glancing up at you.
And that feeling, that feeling is priceless.
The dentist might still be my Boggart, but I can at least say "Riddikulus!" now!
Great Gargi ! Good to c that u gathered courage ! I am myself a dentist and can understand patiient's perceptions. Btw , we dont need braces these days , removable , transperent Aligners are replacing them . Tell ur mom , she needs to straighten her teeth. And next time , choose a dentist in 20's who is handsome enough so as to divert attention from fear ;) ;)
ReplyDeleteWoman, what even! This is hilarious. Love it.
ReplyDelete