for irrfan

Why did I choose to go back 

to the one movie that ends

in your death?

In a way, I have mourned you

more than once.

Does that mean I know you better now?

Now? Now that I have mourned you twice,

or now that you are no more?

I grieved with my whole body today.

Like you do. You even emote with your shoulders.

Shoulders! But you do.

I felt it. The heady feeling, of feeling in your 

limbs and core and head and toenails.

I think I understand now.

Irrfan.

मक़बूल हमेशा तुम थे, तुम हो, और तुम ही रहोगे।