"Women need to chill more, man"

Our clothes don't have pockets,
because how else will they
sell us badly designed bags
that hurt our shoulders
and favour thieves and molesters?

Our footwear is painful
because who cares if we have to run away
from something, or someone -
not like that's a universal experience
for womankind everywhere.

Our perfumes smell of flowers
because how dare a woman smell
(sexually) appealing,
like of musk.

Our body care products
cost an arm and a limb,
and include a different routine
for our arms and limbs
because all men are actually
three raccoons in a skinsuit.

Our literature is called "chick lit,"
and much like ourselves,
isn't taken seriously, unless
it's a sexy lesbian story,
because only men are
presidents, gamers, serial killers,
and countless other things.

Whereas women,
we can't be ourselves -
we're only mothers, wives, daughters and sisters.
Unless there's a 'female' qualifier
before photojournalist, researcher, editor.

But "women need to chill more".